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[video]
I drink from the milk of my ancestors,
More, I want more,
I pull them into myself, make them into more, but soon,
too soon,
they fade away.
These are their eyes, their lips, their nose, but who has mine?
Comparisons made irrationally, assumptions of absurdities we tell our children, the truth;
what now is truth, but words arranged in a certain manner, words that only have meaning when intention is behind them. How does one lie if they don’t mean the words they are saying? Intention is the glue that holds words and sentences together, but knowledge of intention comes from trust, but how can one trust another that is capable of misconstruing every word they say in order to deliver an absurd message, not necessarily a lie, least not in accordance with the actual meaning of lie?
Trust.
Trust.
trust.
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[video]
There are nine planets in this solar system, who knows in this galaxy and an infinite number in this universe. Is this planet the only one that contains life? If the logic preceding this question was not good enough, let us delve deeper, considering current historical events. On November 20, 1969 there was camera gear recovered that had been left behind from the first moon landing. Upon the lenses of this gear, scientists discovered a bacteria growing, a bacteria growing in a non oxygen, zero gravity environment. We have witnessed what a simple bacteria can evolve into on this planet so know not to question the magnitude of this discovery. We have found rocks on the this planet from mars, that when carbon dated, predate man. Whats to say a bacteria from some other planet didn’t come here upon a meteorite and evolve to form us as we are now? To know where you are going, you must fully understand where you came from, thus to find our path, our meaning, our reason for existence, we have to fully appreciate that there is absolutely nothing mystical about your existence. Nature is full of wondrous beauties and one of which is evolution. We are part of the animal kingdom, mammals, at the top of the food chain, but not always, and perhaps not for long. Hmm.. Perhaps this will lead to despair afterall.
Burnt out instances quell my motivations. Sacrifices of the things most dear for an ardorous intoxication.
What is it to be afraid?
Fear to be alone, fear to be with people. Fear of death; fear of life. Where does the fear end? Fear of being judged leads to shame in what you love. Inability to accept even yourself, yet able to others.
Desire.
To want things.
Materialistic.
Categories for everything and everyone. Existence outside of the mold? Thinking outside of the box leads to another box, just with less thoughts.
Independence.
Lonliness.
Loathing those things in myself that leads to being alone.
Unchangeable.
Confidence?
Where?
How?
Turning out the lights and talking to the shadows. They reply, but with my voice, with my thoughts.
But am I talking?
Am I the shadows? Or are they me?
Part of me?
All that I am?
We coexist; cooperate; dissolve into one another and then into nothingness. I still hear you breathing on my neck.
On my shoulder.
On my everything.
My breathing.
Your everything.
Mine.
What is the value of a human life? When the population of ” animals ” in a given area is so high thati t is beginning to negatively impact its eco-system, we human beings make the decision that ultimately leads to the death of a large portion of that animals population. Obviously on this planet, this not so rare of an occurance has happened with another animal species; humans. Will we make the hard decision and wipe out large portions of our own species? Can we? Should we?
In a game i have been playing recentloy, Civilizations 4, the game creators incorporated a nifty fact of life into their virtual world; you have to decide when and where in a city to make citizens and specialists because if they don’t contribute to society, they become a detriment because they consume precious resources the working citizens need to survive. This fun fact of life, directly correlates with the elderly communities and the centers the fight to keep alive people who will as they even admite, inevitabloy die, regardless of the vast resources spent. Where do we draw the line? Where do we accept our humanities place in the animal kingdom and focus on solving this problem, the one draining this planet of its resources and turning its oxygen to poison?
I sit against the wall in my basement room, staring at the flickering shadows thrown from the burning candles all around. Sipping at a streaming cup of tea, I lose myself in those shadows, those tell tale shadows whose implication are of socratic invention.
” My walls are stone, like those of the cave,” I think to myself as I take another sip of tea, ” Maybe I’m gonna free myself of these shackles and climb those stairs that lead to this dungeon.”
” I will see the light, ” I say aloud.
Slowly, I climb to my feet, stretching my back and legs, listening to several bones crack and pop causing an inadvertant sigh in satisfaction. The blanket serving as my door rustles slightly and he prances into the light, head held proudly high as if celebrating some esteemed accomplishment.
I smile and turn for the stairs, ignoring his meow of protest, ” I need to go to the bathroom,” Dancing across my mind.